Of course, fish oils alone will not make Armani a bright spark. If fish were all, penguins, and not lizards, would rule the world.

The paper looks on as children are given good supplements of Omega-3. Oh, brave new world as Harry pops the pill and thus secures himself a full and meaningful life.

If he should become anxious about popping pills, the Mail says that Harry should take a spoonful of honey. It might stave off feelings of anxiety, nipping his growing neurosis and food issues in the bud before they can mutate into full on mania.

Of course, Harry should take care to know that not all pills are good pills. Pills with the letter “e” on them may induce feelings euphoria but they will not last.

So too brightly coloured pills, otherwise known as Smarties. Although, as the Mail reports elsewhere, M&MS, Skittles and Maynards wine gums war soon to be additive free.

Cadburys Trebor Bassett and Mars have vowed to reduce the number of additives in their confectionary. This, says the Mail, is a victory for the, er, Mail and its campaign to have additives banded Class A drugs.

But the work is not over. The paper says Matlow, makers of Love Hearts, Refreshers and Drumstick lollies, do not plan to make any voluntary changes.

Company director Andrew Matlow says all the information he has indicates that his blend of E numbers and sweeteners is “safe”.

And that the latest research may be taken with pinch of E13, E210 and salt…